Friday, May 18, 2007

Pet Diaries ....

Message from Copper - Today's blog is brought to you by Hershey ... because he has a cat and I don't.


8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!

9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!

9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!

10:30am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!

12:00pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!

1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!

3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!

5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!

7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!

8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!

11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!


Day 983 of my captivity. My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets.

Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am.

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.

The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now ......


Luckie the Dachie said...

hehe..looks like cats don't really think like us!! :P

Maggie said...

Cats are such complicated creatures and not nearly as fun-loving as we are!

Love ya lots,

Lorenza said...

Hi, Copper. I don't know too much about cats but by your post I can see how different we are, right? I think we dogs are the best!
Have a nice weekend

Sitka and Tia's BLAWG! said...

ha roo haroo roo roo!!! I rolled over laughing! Tia (my cat sister) just stared at me!

hugs, Sitka

Sweets-littlebigman said...

Thanks so much for making me and my Mom laugh. That post was hilarious! Cats are such funny creatures, I personally don't understand them at all.


Girl Girl Hamster said...

Oh.. thanks for the insights on a cat's view...

~ Girl girl

Asta said...

Usually I'm scared of Cats, but Tia seems awful nice...maybe there's exceptions to the mean cat rule?

Reina the Doxie said...

So.. cats are really expressive!
Tia seems like a nice cat thou!

Jackson said...

What more proof do you need that cat's aren't to be trusted! J x

Bogart said...

Haha - the cats diary made my mom laugh out loud (we have 4 kitties)



hana said...

Hey Copper, I just saw two hot dogs (oops, did I say hot dogs?) walk in front of my house! I wonder if we have new doggies in the neighborhood!

Sparky said...

That's hilarious!!! Just like me and the 3 cats livin' with us. :)